Soon, I’ll be taking my nineteenth trip around the sun and I must say that while it’s absolutely gratifying, it’s also kinda daunting at the same time. Another birthday for me marks somewhat of an anniversary for this state of unpredictability that the world has been shook with. Whew! Year 18 of my life, generally expected to be a most transformational year, turned out to be that much more transformational. Besides hitting all of the “normal” (if that’s even a thing anymore) milestones; graduating high school, getting a driver’s license, starting college, etc. I also witnessed the “impossible,” encountered things that I couldn’t have ever prepared for, done things I never believed I could, and I have truly become the strongest, happiest, most amazing girl that I could ever be at 18.
Grateful isn’t a strong enough word to describe how sacred it feels for me to be experiencing this life of mine. I don’t know how much more plain I can make it, but I can’t really be convinced that my life is any less than super good. Now . . . heaven knows that “super good” mustn’t be mistaken for easy, breezy, and seamless, but I come to see life as one of those things that’s so complicated that it’s actually simple.
Breathing, eating, walking, talking, loving, writing, being, laughing, learning, creating, sitting, showering, dreaming, hoping, remembering, feeling, appreciating, texting, thinking.
Crying, hurting, hating, yearning, suffering, yelling, wishing.
Both the highest of the highs and the lowest of the lows that’ve been dealt to me throughout my journey are worthy of my appreciation, and I do indeed hold the space in my heart to appreciate them all. Especially because the number one thing that I’ve learned during my short and mighty 18 going on 19 years here on this beautiful earth, is that it all happens for a reason.
A list of 18 things that I’ve learned in 18 years — me to me:
- There is never not a reason. You might find yourself wondering why me and not seeing a cause for why you should have to endure such hardship in the first place, but one day you’ll know that there is certainly a bigger picture. Once you do, you can lean on it for comfort everytime.
- Just go for it. Anything. Saying “F it” and doing what you want doesn’t always feel badass because sometimes it’s very scary, but it is indeed badass. Looking back, you’ll take so much pride in saying I DID THAT!
- Just because you love someone and you’re invested in their problems, you’re not obligated to be. You probably shouldn’t be. Have boundaries between your journey and theirs.
- Make sure that the people you love, know that you love them. Express your love unyieldingly.
- Being determined to learn yourself, your needs, your “whys,” and how you function in general, puts you at such an advantage.
- Never hold back your laughter or your joy. Being able to laugh at yourself is a game changer as you’re growing through this world and making all the silly mistakes.
- Absolutely nothing is as far away or avoidable as it seems.
- Energies and intentions rule all. They’re something like the end-all be-alls of life.
- Holding the space to see “out-of-the-box” possibilities or have dreams and visions for your life is space well taken.
- There is nothing wrong with needing or wanting other people’s presence in your life. You don’t have to do everything alone. You can ask for help, and you can receive support.
- There’s always unlearning, and relearning to do. You will never know everything, and that’s something to have fun with as opposed to something to be ashamed of. Being able to say “I don’t know” is super beautiful.
- There is nothing wrong with you or anyone else. You’re literally so awesome. If you are yourself, then what even is the wrong way to be?
- Mornings are important. Start early and use them as a set up for amazing days.
- Experiences, memories, and physical documentations of them top materialistic objects any day! Having a story to tell is special.
- Let go of control sometimes! Trying to control every single thing will leave you embarrassed and stressed. This is life! Let it flow, let others be, let yourself be.
- To be a Black girl growing into Black womanhood is an unmatched experience, but only listening to the narratives that the media sometimes illustrates will leave you feeling frustrated.
- Your fears are valid, but they aren’t always true. Not being able to put them in check is probably cheating yourself out of some amazing experiences.
- Literally anything that you want can be.
A cute outfit, some nice weather to take pictures in, and a bit of time with my loved ones would be nice . . . but I don’t badly wish for anything on my 19th birthday. The greatest gift to me, is getting to do this all again during a 19th cycle; Something that so many other people don’t get the chance to do.
I want to cry some more, laugh some more, sit in the sunlight some more, be challenged some more and just do all of the things. As my grandma always says, “I’m going to squeeze as much life out of this body as I can!” and that’s how it shall be!
Here’s to more of this beautiful life!
A WORD BY, WISDOM