Allow me to ask a hefty question! When is it easiest for you to feel the weight of importance, that your life in the physical realm holds? For me, it could be while I’m experiencing an overwhelming sense of contentment that makes me feel like “geesh I’m just soooo happy to be alive right now!” It could also be while I’m in a solemn remembrance of how someday, my physical body will have worn out it’s time and all of the joys and powers of physical life will be no longer mine to experience. I’m young, but death always has such a strange way of reminding me to be alive, and not only that, but to be alive for something. With so many people hurting and grieving at a time like this, I wish to not make this post about dying. I want to talk about loving.
Loving something enough to live out a most full and passionate life for it. Loving something so deeply that physical death or possibility of “struggle” are no longer threats that matter. I simply admire people who have mastered love in this fearless way and honestly nothing would make me happier than seeing more of it!
I however, am not yet one of these masters. At all. I actually find it sadly ironic how we’re 100% living, yet remembering life and the things that make it meaningful can be so challenging to do sometimes. (I mean . . . it’s not entirely our fault under the shackles of capitali$m where competition and an obsession with “climbing” a “ladder” seems to rule all, but I digress)
You don’t know how many times I play devil’s advocate with myself and say —-
“Now Wisdom. Do you know that you fell for the trap girl?! You have been sitting here under pressure for YEARS feeling like making good grades and getting a degree is life . . . knowing very well that after you earn that degree you’re not going to be happy until you have a career, and after you have a career you’re not going to be happy until you make X amount of money to pay for this and that, and when you’re able to pay for this and that etc. etc. etc. until you have no more physical body left.”
As much as I’m as happy as I can be on my journey, I think that it’s also okay for me to recognize how I get easily distracted and illusioned about what’s most important to me: Leading a life of love.
Like my auntie Lynn does. Like Fred Hampton and the Black Panthers did. Like Assata Shakur does. To love something about life enough to be able to separate the illusions from what’s really real.
For my Aunt Lynn that “something” is definitely her family. If I called her up right now, at 12:49 am and said “Auntie! Come to South Carolina from where you are in New Jersey because there’s an emergency!” She would be here as soon as she could be and that’s only one thing.
The other thing is that if I called her right now and said “Auntie! Come to South Carolina from where you are in New Jersey, because I want to spend some time with you and have family time!” She would still be here as soon as she could be and I have no doubt about it. Emergency or not, I have never heard her say “Okay, let me figure out my work schedule first,” or “let me see if I have the time.”Don’t get me wrong, she’s very responsible! But the point that I’m making is that she’s very much in control. It’s more like her to say, “I value experiences and quality time more than I value money! I tell THEM when I’m coming into work.” To me that is absolutely leading a life of love. Very revolutionary.
For Fred Hampton, The Black Panthers and Assata Sharkur, it was/is the people. They loved Black life so deeply that they selflessly used their power in the physical to make sure of it being continued . . . even once they became of the past. I know what monstrous images people have painted about Black revolutionaries, but I know how humane they must have been to love so hard. They had families, financial issues, fears, and not to mention the fact that they were living, breathing, targets. Yet, out of love, they dedicated their lives to the vision that they had for our people, endearing great struggle and sacrifice along the way. If that isn’t revolutionary love, then I don’t know what is.
Love, whatever it may be for, is revolution. If something reminds you that your lifetime in the physical is meaningful, keep it close to you. I think that there’s something about living out of love that makes this idea that we’re living to die stupid. It puts the power back where it belongs; in love. Revolutionary style.
“A very light, non-pressuring vow to me.
I vow to let myself flow.
I vow to let myself be.
I vow to remember my soul.
I vow to let happy contentment fill me up.
I vow to recognize and overcome limitations.
I vow to not become consumed.”
A Word By, Wisdom